Belong
by Pygmypuffs
Summary: Slight spoilers for S02E04 so don't read if you haven't seen it yet! Finn is still reeling from his break-up with Rae but when a bust-up with Simmy lands him in trouble will it lead Rae to be completely honest with Finn?


A/N: Hey I have't wrote a fan fiction in a long time. This had been stuck in my head a while and was distracting me from doing university work so thought I would write it all out :P hope you enjoy!

What was he thinking? Finn got home from his date and slumped backwards onto his bed. The date had been a nightmare. For 3 hours he had endured Melissa talk about all the gossip and drama happening in her group of friends, how she has naturally perfect skin ("I'm not wearing any make-up you know this is all natural") and shoes … why are girls so into shoes?! He tried to salvage the conversation by talking about music but that completely backfired when she claimed spice girls and backstreet boys were her all-time favourites … does she have ears? So instead of helping him move on, all he could think about was how much he wished this date had been with Rae instead. He remembered Rae's rant about the back street boys and started to laugh … which his date had not appreciated.

It was a relief when the date was over and Melissa dropped him off at football. But when he saw Rae on the sofa he flashed back to their earlier conversation. She had been going on and on about how great this Liam guy was so he had wanted to make her jealous too … he wasn't expecting the full force punch to the face though. But her being jealous at least meant she still cared and knowing that gave him comfort. So he decided that maybe he could at least use Melissa to get Rae jealous, so he turned on the charm. Unfortunately, he didn't get the reaction he had hoped, instead of seeing an angry, jealous Rae she just looked sad and resigned … that didn't comfort him at all.

Finn, the sour-faced git, had returned as he found that once again he all these personal thoughts whizzing round his head and no-one he felt comfortable talking about these things to. It was like his Nana being ill all over again, he had never told anyone about how much he loved his Nana, about how ill she was, about how she was like a mum to him. It was only once she had died and Rae had appeared in that doorway that everything he'd been feeling flew out his mouth before he could stop it. He missed Rae. She was the most caring and understanding person he'd ever met. She was the first girl he had fully trusted and felt he could tell anything. All he had wanted to do was to make her happy, because she deserved it, but somehow he'd screwed it all up.

Finn was stirred from his thoughts by the annoying voice of Simmy, "Oi Debbie McGee! Where's Paul Daniels? Or has the magic already run out?"

Finn's blood started to boil but he just kept walking, everyone knew Simmy was a wind up; he wouldn't give him the satisfaction of reacting. However Simmy was up from his usual benches now and walking towards him with his wee cronies, "In all seriousness, what were you thinking mate? Going out with a minger like that? Was it a bet? Shag the biggest munter in school?"

Finn started to shake, how dare they talk about Rae like that. It's people like him that made her question them being together. Suddenly he couldn't keep quiet anymore and he turned on Simmy, "You know nothing about Rae, you ignorant son a bitch!"

Simmy just smirked and leaned towards Finn and whispered "well all I know is I'd be paying her to keep her clothes on than take them off" Next thing Finn knew he had tackled Simmy to the floor. The two wrestled on the ground, both getting multiple punches to the face and stomach, before being pulled apart. Finn heard Archie telling him "calm down mate, let it go. He's not worth it." Finn began to calm down, satisfied with the blood streaming from Simmy's nose, so with Archie supporting him he started to walk away.

He should have known Simmy would have to have the last word, after only a few steps Simmy shouted out "Well it sounds like Jabba has moved on anyways, kissing a fellow Jabba … wonder what he can offer than you couldn't" Finn's anger at Simmy soon turned to a blinding rage, as he was filled with hurt and jealousy, and before he knew it he had thrown a knock-out punch and Simmy was out cold on the ground.

* * *

Rae came out of the library, after enjoying her usual lunch alone, when she saw a red faced Archie running towards her. "Rae I've been looking for you for ages, where have you been?"

Feeling awkward Rae tried to quickly think on the spot, "Was just in the library trying to find some books for sociology … that class is a nightmare! What's going on Arch, are you ok?"

"Rae I'm fine … it's Finn, he's got himself suspended for a week"

"Oh my god what happened?"

"Simmy happened. Simmy was back to his 'hilarious' nickname of you and was saying some, well pretty vile stuff about you. You know Finn can't stand bullies at the best of times, but you've seen how he reacts to guys bullying you …"

"He got suspended because of me, oh god, oh god, I'm ruining his life! I wish he hadn't met me … I've messed everything up!"

"Rae stop, it wasn't just about you … Simmy managed to hit Finn where it hurts, where Finn is sensitive … he told him you'd kissed Liam and made a point about how Finn wasn't good enough to keep you."

Rae couldn't stop crying now, breaking up with Finn was supposed to protect Finn … who was she kidding she mainly wanted to protect herself. But she genuinely thought Finn would be better off without her, that he deserved someone better. She never wanted him to think he wasn't good enough, it was the opposite … he was too amazing! Way too good for someone like her.

"Rae! Rae!" Rae snapped out of her internal monologue.

"Sorry Arch, I just … what can I do?"

"Rae I think you need to go see him. He was a mess when I last saw him … I've never seen him so angry and hurt before. You need to go and be honest with him"

"What if I can't Arch? Or if I am what if he realises just how much of a mental case I really am and wants to get as far away from me as possible"

"Rae, you told me to be brave and to be honest with who I am. And it's not great and it's not easy, but I'm true to myself. I fancy who I fancy and people will just have to learn how to deal with it. If they can't deal with it … then I guess they aren't the people you thought they were."

"Uncle Archie your very wise sometimes" Rae smiled a small sad smile. "I guess it's my turn to be brave"

* * *

Rae stood at the corner before Finn's house trying to prepare herself, trying to think about exactly what she needed to say … she felt sick. Just saying the things out loud to herself was making her think "you sound like a mentalist". He was never going to understand and she was terrified it would mean her losing him as a friend forever. But Finn needed to know the real reason for their break-up, that it wasn't him at all. Her hands balled into fists, with her nails digging into her palms, she knocked on the door.

When Finn appeared at the door, Rae gasped "Oh my god Finn" he looked a mess. His lip was split, his jaw was bruised and he had a huge black eye … if Finn was the winner she could only imagine what Simmy looked like.

Finn continued to stare at the ground, he seemed unable to meet her eyes, he muttered, "Yea not my best look"

"Finn Archie told me what happened … why did you do that?"

"Look Rae I'm in quite a bit of pain right now so …."

But before he could finish his sentence Rae interrupted him, "No I'm not going anywhere Finn, I've messed everything up! I mean look at you. This is all my fault and you deserve answers and … I need to be honest. So please Finn … can I come in?"

For the first time Finn looked up, Rae's eyes were desperate and terrified. He noticed she was tensing and scratching her hands, something she did when she had something difficult to say. Maybe they both needed to talk about this to get closure. He found that he still was struggling with the whole word forming thing though so he just gave a small nod and turned in to his house.

They went up to his room and stood awkwardly for a moment in silence, before opting to sit in seats at opposite ends of the room. She had so many good memories in this room with Finn … she hoped today wouldn't erase all those. Where was she even to start? Finn just was staring at the floor, holding his chest, looking hurt … what she would do to put that wee cheeky Finn smile back on his face. Breathe, you can do this Rae, fix this.

"So what exactly happened with Simmy?"

"He was just being wide. Rae I never realised the vile people were calling you after the bathroom incident … you don't deserve that. They don't even know you. Why do they have the right to question why I like" Finn paused as he realised what he was saying and quickly changed it to "em liked you."

Rae's heart sunk slightly at his correction, but she had split up with him … she had no right to be disappointed. She thought about what he said "What they say … it hurts, of course it does. But the biggest problem is I believe they are right about me. I am fat. I am ugly. You are out of my league. I'm not a beautiful girl and I never deserved a boyfriend like you."

Finn was getting agitated with Rae talking like that, did she really think so little of herself "Rae how can you think that?! No-one deserves to be called stuff like that, especially you! And I believe I told you in that toilet cubicle that who I fancy and want to be with is MY CHOICE! THEY DON'T DECIDE THAT, YOU DON'T DECIDE THAT!"

Rae looked down ashamed, "I know it's your choice but I was scared you would change your mind once …"

Finn looked at her confused, "Once what?"

"Once you saw me … all of me. I saw Stacey naked in the shower and …. I'm not Stacey. I don't look like that. I can't even bare to look at myself like that. So why should I subject you to have to look at it, especially when you could have anyone you want … people that can offer you far much than I do"

Finn took a deep breath and looked at Rae, "Is this why you kept giving me drink that night at mine? … The picture of Stacey?" Rae gave a slight nod. Finn looked frustrated, "Rae do you think I am a liar?"

"No", Rae immediately replied. She didn't even need to think about it.

"Well if you don't think I am then why don't you believe me when I tell you I like you, when I tell you I fancy you and want you … why do you question that? When I kiss you and try and take your clothes off do you think I'm doing it against my will? No-one has a gun to my head Rae. I did that stuff because I wanted nothing more than to kiss you and tear your clothes off"

Rae looked set to burst into tears, it was so hard to explain because deep down she knew he liked her. He wasn't the problem. It was that she couldn't understand why he did because she didn't see any of it herself. She gripped the side of the chair trying to calm herself enough to explain this, "Finn … our breaking up, it's all my fault. You did nothing wrong at all, if anything you were … are … too perfect! I can't understand why you liked me, because I don't like me … I can't physically see it. I know you did want me, but I was too scared to let you see me naked and realise I don't look like the photos in magazines. I couldn't let you been seen with a girlfriend as ugly as me, when you've had far better and beautiful girlfriends in the past, like Stacey. You may not have realised, but we were the laughing stock of college, "Beauty and the beast" and I couldn't … I couldn't … "and she broke down unable to breathe as the tears streamed down her face.

Finn's heart was breaking, Rae was more special to him than any other girl he had ever had. The day in the pub, kissing her … it was like the whole world faded away. He felt happy and complete. He wanted her back more than anything, but she was keeping him at arm's length … scared to let him in and love her … did he just think love? He just needed to hold her so he moved from his seat and held her like she had for him when his Nana died. He combed her hair with his hand and said nothing until her breathing calmed.

"Rae, you know me, you were my friend before we dated. Do you remember me having long-term girlfriends?"

Rae sobbed, "Not really"

Finn chuckled, "Exactly. Girls like Stacey … sure they are pretty, but they know it and it makes them ugly. They are often selfish, obsessed with popularity, obsessed with how they look, unaware of other people's feelings and mean. They aren't pretty on the inside, they just have a pretty shell. After a few dates I see that and get fed up and break up with them. You are special in that you are beautiful inside and out."

Though this did make sense to Rae, especially when she considered Chloe, she still failed to believe she was beautiful … if he fully knew what she was like inside her mental wee brain he would be legging it. She sighed, "No I'm not. I'm fat on the outside and mental on the inside"

She just wasn't seeing it, not seeing how amazing she was. Finn decided is this conversation was his only chance to get it all out then he might as well say everything. "Rae you asked me in the toilet why I fancied you. I hoped it would be obvious to you that I wouldn't have to explain, but your being a dickhead so I'll break it down for you. You have the most beautiful, warm eyes I have ever seen, the most infectious cute laugh, you always wear the coolest t-shirts, your breasts … I mean just look at them, I can tell you everything … which is more important to me than anything else because I have few people in my life I can tell my secrets to. You are kind and caring, have the best taste in music, having amazing chat and I can trust you completely because you are such an honest person. I know you aren't my girlfriend anymore and you've moved on, but I just wanted to make you see what I saw when I look at you" Finn sadly smiled at the now still Rae in his arms … oh how much he wanted to kiss her then, but she wasn't his girl anymore.

Rae's mind was whirling, she was in love with Finn … completely so, and hearing him talking about her like that … it made her sound amazing. But the problems would still be there, people would still stare and would she be able to be naked? But she wanted him more than anything in the world, as much as she liked Liam … she didn't feel like this around him. So she made a decision … the decision Kester would approve of.

"Finn, the whole Liam thing … it was an accident. We were just caught up in a moment of understanding and it was over in an instant. I've not moved on. Finn … I met Liam in group therapy. I'm not well yet. I still have a lot of issues. I know you said you didn't mind me having 'stuff' but … my stuff is more difficult than most. Liam just understood better because he was going through the same thing."

Finn's heart and stomach started pounding as he shyly said, "Do you reckon you could learn to talk to me about stuff? Let me in?"

Rae let out a shy smile and for the first time looked up, "I'll try, hopefully it won't scare you off though"

Finn smiled, "Rae nothing will scare me off, and I'll do whatever you need to have you back"

Rae smiled as her mum's words flew through her head "Ok let's do this and this time I will try harder, just don't let me run away because I'm scared again"

Finn smiled his beautiful smile, "I promise … I'll attach a tracker device this time". They both laughed and Finn leaned down to capture her lips in his. This is where they both belonged.


End file.
